How to Restore Peace to a Stump

One of our batshit conspiracy-theorist neighbors has been forecasting the end of days since the election last year. He posted a sign on an old stump that read 'mpeach' approximately 5 minutes after the inauguration. It annoyed me because we live on a lovely tree-lined dirt road. The stupidity was disturbing my peace of mind. Thankfully, 'mpeach' mysteriously and thankfully disappeared. Peace was restored until...


A new sign appeared on the stump. It was getting under my skin until I made my very own sign. I feel my sign conveys a happier future... one with lots of ice cream.

11/15/09 Super Deluxe Update!

Well, it turns out fantasy man doesn't like ice cream after all!  My sign has been reduced to a pile of angry splinters.  I guess that works as a form of anger management, but honestly, who doesn't like ice cream?  It seems almost un-American.  How about this sign idea:  I don't like ice cream...yum?      

Sam Rivers and the Rivbea Orchestra

It's been over ten years since I last saw Sam Rivers play at the Sapphire Supper Club in Downtown Orlando.  On Saturday night we were lucky enough to attend a performance of his big band, the Rivbea Orchestra, in College Park, Orlando. Thunderstorms threatened and Sam forgot the sheet music, but all problems were resolved and it was an amazing performance. There were a few confused folks expecting a Salsa band and not quite expecting the somewhat avant-garde Sam Rivers sound experiments...oh well, too bad for them.        

Sisters and Satchel's Pizza

Sisters in Haile Plantation

I've decided to review two local restaurants that we've become recent fans of. They are located in two separate socioeconomic universes. Sisters is in Haile Plantation, a semi-phony New Urbanism development west of Gainesville, and while a bit contrived, it remains pleasant, tree-lined, dog-filled and very upper-middle class. Sisters serves a great breakfast. I appreciate any breakfast place that actually cares about their coffee and they do, serving Sweetwater, a fair-trade local roaster. Their ingredients tend to be local and organic and they present a creative and appealing menu. This is no simple task, remember we live in Florida. I guess this is why I like this place so much. It could be on any corner in Ipswich or Beverly or Gloucester. Anyway, the food is great and the service is very pleasant. We've had the Blueberry Blintzes and Mascarpone/Banana Crepes (both very rich with appropriate portion sizes), the Eggs Benedict (tasty roasted red pepper hollandaise) and the French Toast stuffed with ham and gruyere. Sit outside and watch all the college professors walk their dogs. If you go on a Saturday morning shop at the farmer's market and buy samosas for later in the day.

Eggs Benedict with spinach and roasted red pepper hollandaise.

Satchel's Van.

Our recently discovered and favorite pizza place ever, Satchel's, is located on the Eastside of Gainesville (which can be translated into the African-American side of town where there is not one bank. Not one.) The environment is very casual, with a pleasant punk-hippy-smarty pants feel. You can eat in the old ford van. The salad is fantastic with apples, sunflower seeds, almonds and their own dressing. The pizza, oh the pizza...so good, too good. Again, remember we live in Florida, but I am pretty sure that this is the best pizza I've eaten. Cymande, however, feels that North Beach Pizza in San Francisco, circa 1990 was pretty darn good. Anyway, the service was friendly and helpful and if you visit us we will take you there.

Lightnin' Salvage, a great junk shop behind Satchel's.

Marjorie Kinnan Rawling's Home in Cross Creek.

Buckley surveys Old Wire Road from the porch table.

A toad, born of Swilly River and now off to inhabit the world.

The new F725 mower, sweet.

Lula sleeps outside of the front door.

Again, Technical Difficulties...

Well, I had hoped that I could squeeze in a September entry full of wit and interesting phenomenon that have occured since the last entry. I suppose I still could, but somehow without the photo evidence it seems less appealing.

I could describe in agonizing detail how one fine day I was mowing the lawn with my tired old Craftsman mower when suddenly it started making a hideous noise followed by a thick malodorous grey smoke belching from the exhaust, then stopped operating. I tried to turn it over, but more smoke poured out and finally the engine turned into a block of molten metal. The photo might show the mower meeting its smokey demise amongst the pear trees.

Two weeks later, Charles and I drove down to Sebring to pick up a John Deere F725 mower that I purchased on ebay. It required a couple of parts (fuel pump, ignitor), but I do believe that I got a very good deal. A suspiciously good deal. OK, maybe it is stolen, but the guy seemed nice and honest and grateful and he gave us pina coladas. I suggest that if you own a nice mower, such as the one in my barn, then consider locking it up. You might avoid a bidding war on ebay and actually earn the value of the mower if you set a reserve price. I hope this serves as my confession and that all my lawn mowing and ebay sins will be forgiven. The photo would be of the F725 parked amongst the fig trees.

I also planned on finally revealing Swilly River and all its teeming biodiversity. It's been an interesting 6 month experiment. I'm impressed by the number of fish, frogs, toads and insects that stormwater and bathwater support. The photo would show the meandering path of Swilly River.

I might have mentioned a couple of handsome chicks that hatched after losing four hens and a rooster to a coyote attack (there is a price to pay for having the freedom to range willy-nilly.) The photo would show two fuzzy chicks under the constant supervision of their mother.

For those of you not interested the the superficial distraction that I attempt to provide here, or if you are seeking more profundity, or more existential dilemmas, or maybe you are seeking more discussion about reproductive endocrinology then I would have reminded you: Cymande and I have been busy. The photo would be of two happy blastomeres.

Upon resolution of our technical difficulties all these topics and more will be explored appropriately. Until then you will just need to use your imagination. Lawn mowers, rivers, chicks, blastomeres...

Cash for Clunker

Big Blue Van, you served us well.  Yes, you achieved 12 MPG on a good day, and yes, I worried that a tire might explode at any moment, and yes, you scared little children as you drove by the bus stop, but you performed admirably in your tasks.  You helped restore our house, hauled a piano, served as a dump truck, pulled down a barn and miraculously increased in value.  Thank you BBV and goodbye...

Spanish Moss

Tillandsia usneoides

Description: Spanish Moss is neither moss, nor lichen. It is a bromeliad with ariel roots and small inconspicuous flowers that propagates through fragmentation, seed dispersal and by birds using it as nesting material. One strand can grow up to 7 meters in length. It is not parasitic, but can obscure sunlight to host trees and can increase wind resistance during hurricanes. It grows primarily on live oak, bald cypress, crape myrtle and sweetgum because these trees leach nutrients which aides the moss' survival. It is home to several creatures including: bats, rat snakes and a species of spider found only on the moss. It is often associated with Southern Gothic imagery, as are several unpleasant aspects of Southern US history...the moss is a lovely silvery green and appears mysterious in the morning fog!

Range: Spanish Moss can be found from the Southeastern US to Argentina. In our yard, it is primarly found in the live oaks on the southern side of our property. It grows abundantly during the humid summer, but thins out during the dry winter and spring.

Human Uses: It was once used as mattress stuffing and is still used as mulch in floral arrangements. It is also used as a textile by some folk artists. It is dried, spun and used in knitting (this art form is almost lost.)

Brent Butler, 1967 - 2009

Our Friend Brent recently passed away after a long illness. We met him last year at Chantal and Noah's Wedding, but heard about him for many, many years. He was a kind, creative Vancouverite with an incredibly sharp wit. He told us that during his treatments he would use Old Wire Road as a safe idealized place that he could escape to; A place where the chickens roam free, ripe fruit falls from trees and the warm sun always shines. We were honored by this. We tried to keep OWR free of the clutter that innundates this world. We will miss you Brent. The following is the obituary that he wrote:

September 2, 1967 - March 9, 2009. Brent Butler died driving impressively fast on the forbidden highway of danger, showing a clear disregard for the status quo in an inspiring act of sheer, fearless bravado. He looked thin. Brent is survived by his loving parents, Patrick and Barbara, his younger brother, Bryce as well as his many dear friends. In lieu of flowers please consider a donation to the BC Cancer Foundation, Lymphoma Research.

Our Commute: Lake City to Jasper

Five Points

Winfield

The Bicycle Association

The Suwannee River

White Springs

Hilcoat

Jasper

Quintilis, 2009

cumulonimbus

The cumulonimbus cloud is the pinata of the weather world.  If you briskly strike it with broom handle all kinds of exciting things fall out: lightening, thunder, hail, rain, small fruit and candy. Florida is full of this type of extreme weather.  Along with big ominous clouds we get hurricanes, tornadoes, mind-numbing heat and humidity. Also, one in six Floridians are struck by lightening every week during the summer which explains so much...    

sagu

We have a few sago palms (Cycas revoluta) growing on our property. They are not really palms and are actually native to Southern Japan. They date back to the Permian when the Earth's continents were all collected into a super continent known as Pangea. Apparently, this was an exciting time just a few thousand years ago. For example, early man was bareback riding dinosaurs at the Third Annual Garden of Eden Rodeo and right before the first rodeo clown evolved a huge flood came and Noah couldn't fit all that biomass on his ark.  I guess he brought some Cycads though.  What a relief!  

regn

This is what happens when you get cheeky with creationism.  

hund

Buckley, as a puppy, walked down our driveway one fine day and we called him...Buckley.  He was named after Chas Tenenbaum's dog, not because he was crushed beneath a car driven by a hallucinating emotionally distraught writer, but because he is brown, black and white.  His name evolution was as follows: Buckley to Brogley, Brogley to Frogly, Frogly to Frog, Frog to Frog Juice, Frog Juice to Juicer.  There is no explanation for this.  

polwygle

The opportunity to use the Old English origin of polliwog was reason enough for this entry.  Way down yonder on the Swilly River (our grey water pond) is quite an ecosystem.  A variety of invertebrates, fish, frogs and these toad polliwogs (which have since crawled out the water and are hopping around the yard) all inhabit the slowly moving waters.   

crescere

I've recently discovered the Danish pastry.  I once was a snob about croissant construction (the dough, the butter block, the long process) but now I'm a convert. Wienerbrød, you are my new friend.

fontanus

Our solar powered fountain has become a popular bird bath.  The birds position themselves in their favorite well and bathe liberally throughout the day.  Some even position themselves over the fountain pump and get a powerwash.  Vistors today:  Blue Grosbeaks, Cardinals, Ground Doves, Mourning Doves, and Bluebirds.

catta

We found Misho as a kitten at the Salem (MA) animal shelter in 2002.  When we first met him we asked the staff, 'Is he sick?' because he was so lethargic. Well,  he hasn't changed a bit.    

Mud, Sweat and Deer

Old Wire Road.

April showers are fine, but we got approximately one foot of rain over a one week period in May. The May flowers were suspended in a colloidal medium of clay, sand and water. Our car was also suspended requiring us to dig it out New England-snowstorm style.

We've been visiting Gainesville quite regularly to visit our Turkish RE (reproductive endocrinologist, see the top link on right for more details of our reproductive life, which is full of humor, occasional bitterness and technical jargon.)  

This is not a bison.

We visited Paynes Prairie which was once inhabited by the Alachua band of the Seminoles.  This is an interesting geologic formation and is described as a savanna, strangely, it isn't in Africa.  On the 'savanna' a variety of large furry animals can be seen grazing.  Most interesting and photogenic would be the bison.  Bison were found here before white people decided to treat the ecosystem like a condiment bar, but fear not bison were reintroduced in the 1970's. We spotted some camera shy horses that are said to be descendants of horses introduced by DeSoto as he pillaged the countryside.  He brought hogs too.  And smallpox.  Don't get me started on Ponce De Leon.  

We travelled to Micanopy (say it with me: mick-a-NO-pee) for a little antique shopping and ice cream.  Micanopy was an early 19th century trading stop between St.Augustine and Tampa.  It was also host of the popular and bloody Second Seminole War.  Micanopy is still trying to come to terms with being the location of the film 'Doc Hollywood.'  The quaint music shop has a sweet Gretsch archtop and a square grand piano. 

Blackberry Margaritas.

Our friend Allison visited before she headed off to Portland, Oregon.  We wish her luck in escaping the dangerous gravity associated with Florida.  We spent the weekend relaxing, drinking blackberry sangria, eating blackberry muffins, picking blackberries and drinking blackberry margaritas.  We also travelled back to Ponte Vedra beach, but this time after 5pm as to avoid the Florida sun.  We arrived after a powerful thunderstorm had cleared the beach and we had the place to ourselves.   

The Brain (Ross) from the Planet Arous (Ipswich)

Starring:
Gregg as Steve
Cymande as Sally
Ross as Gor
Misho as Vol
Buckley as General Frogley
Lula as George the Dog




An alien criminal from Planet Arous, a brain creature named Gor, arrives in the vast cultural desert of Lake City, Florida. Steve and Dan, middle-age and a bit doughy, notice that something is emitting radiation from Poe Springs and decide to investigate, but only after Sally cooks up some delicious cremated burgers. At Poe Springs, Gor possesses Steve and kills Dan. Sadly, Dan will now be unable to play badminton and frequent the fleshpots that he is so fond of. Steve starts experiencing headaches and fits of frisky arousal both generated by Gor’s possession. Sally is both shocked and initially receptive, but decides she doesn’t like Steve’s new personality traits. Back in Steve’s lab Gor reveals himself and confesses that he wants to take over the Earth and that Sally gives him a ‘very strange and very new elation.’





Gor then proceeds to use his vast, destructive powers to bend the world to his will and demonstrates this by making Steve’s eyes cloud over, destroying model planes and playing some nasty bass lines. Meanwhile, Sally discovers Vol, another brain alien, who has arrived on earth to apprehend Gor. Vol possesses George the Dog to ensure easy access to Steve. Over dinner at The Top in Gainesville Steve starts threatening to wipe out the capital city of any nation that defies him. Col. Frogley is initially nonplussed by these threats until Steve gets cloudy-eyed and blows up another plane and ruins the A-bomb experiment that the government is conducting.

The next day they decide to visit the beach in Ponte Vedra. Vol informs Sally that Gor’s only weakness is the Fissure of Rolando and he is only vulnerable during one brief period when he needs to exit Steve to absorb oxygen. To provoke said oxygen-deprived state, they swim in the ocean and lay out in the scorching sun getting thoroughly burned. Over crabcakes, Steve, Sally and Dan’s sunburned ghost pick away at Gor’s exposed fissure with knives and forks. Gor decides that he should return to Arous where his loving family awaits.

The End. 

A Walk in the Pine Forest

One hot afternoon Charlie and I went on a mission to find the transient pond that fills after rains and erupts with singing frogs. We have been fearful of exploring the pine forest adjacent to our property because of hunters. Now, we actually know the hunter and I guess being shot by a hunter you know is less disturbing and fills you with confidence to explore the unknown. We found the pond which was dry and filled with small cypress trees. We also came across many large gopher tortoises basking in the warm pine forest. The armadillos, deer, bobcats and turkeys quietly avoided us, but we know they live there too.