Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Twelve Days of...Oh Hell, I Give Up.


On the first day of Christmas, Gio brought himself to Old Wire Road.  Additionally, he brought with him tales of the Peruvian rainforest, covetous bird scientists, masked gunmen, unsanitary rice and beans and all manner of ex-girlfriends.  We expected nothing less.
   
On day two, Moss needed a bath.  

Day Three...Giles' acute glaucoma resolved and that was exactly what we asked ol' St. Druid for.  Thanks to everyone that made a positive contribution to his well being, especially: Dr.WTF, Shands UF, science and all his well wishers.   

On the forth day of Christmas, Gio and I took a paddle down the Ichetucknee River.  Two limpkins, five river otters, ten kingfishers and an osprey in a cypress tree...

On day five, I gave up on the entire '12 Days of Christmas' motif.   Allison visited us from Portland and brought gifts from the civilized world.  Thanks for brightening our holiday.         

Gio courted various surgeons and rock climbers online.  Who could blame him after three months in the Amazon Basin eating E.coli infused beans with members of a Columbian drug cartel.  I expressed to him my concerns with women who start their online dating profile with the sentence, 'I love rock climbing.'  I have nothing against rock climbers (except their muscular bodies and funny shoes).  As an old friend of mine would say, "please don't say, "I love rock climbing."'
   
I promised Gio that I would get him some time with a wild manatee.  Instead, we visited a zoo.  I tried to promote the zoo by relating heartfelt stories of how the imprisoned beasts were all rescued from certain and painful deaths.  I almost convinced myself, but I feel Gio never bought in.  He did manage to shoot a nausea-inducing composition of a vapid Bald Eagle standing in front of Old Glory.  And yes, Cymande is feeding Giles in the reptile exhibit.

Air: 50 degrees.  Water: 73 degrees.  Steam.

We were again the only visitors to the park for several hours.  When we were pulling our kayaks out of the water we met an entomologist.  Somehow, we started talking about ascariasis or giant human roundworm and she explained how she found one, well, in her stool.  Which allows me to state for the millionth time: no one might actually read this blog, but I have the number one or two google image hit for ascariasis.  I had so much potential in this life...but here I am..giant human roundworm...I always had a thing for parasites.

After we visited the Florida Animal Prison we found the most amazing Italian Deli in Inverness, The Little Italy Deli.  The owner berated Gio for being an Italian vegetarian.  The food was unbelievably good, a rarity in Florida...I felt like I was back in Gloucester being scolded for ordering incorrectly at Cafe Sicilia.
   
Count them: 12 manatees, one for every day of Christmas.  Actually there were several others that were in the manatee hospital, but they don't count because: A. they were not wild and/or B. they were manatee specters. 

Elves!
 
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